Category: balance

Fifty-Two Weeks of My Healing…

Week:11

 

moms kid picture bw

 

This was my mom as a kid, I can see the resemblance in all three of us, my sister and brother.  She was an only child by her mother.  Strong willed, and so very independent.  And so very missed.  My mom was a giver, she was nice and caring; but she was also a Scorpio, and if you got on her bad side, you better watch out!  There are a lot of personality traits I got from her, some not so good, but most very good.  I am so blessed to have had her for 43 of my years.  Mom I love you.

Springing Forward…

Daylights savings time begins again, this time we spring forward, so we lose an hour.  I like that it gets dark later now, that is good for me; since I ride the bus, and I hate walking to the bus stop at 6 and it is dark, so this gives me a little more light out.  The days are just running into one another, so quickly that I am not able to catch up with things.  Next week, it will be 3 months since the passing of my mom, I still cry, last night I had a good cry with my sister.  I will be so happy once I can stop crying, and just have that sense of peace and calmness inside of me, no tears, just being able to talk about her, without having to tear up every time.  In time, in time it will get there, just have to be patient.

Lots is going on with work, lots of things we are doing, we got in live plants and flowers, and they are selling like crazy, I have been thinking that soon, I will get some.  I have been working hard this week.

I have been working on getting my apartment ready to receive my cat princess.  I will be getting her a new litter box, and also a new cat tree, so that she will be right at home.  Also getting a new sectional and area rug.  Once I get that done and situated, I will post photos.

South by Southwest is in town now, not plan on going to any of it, I just do not really have time or patience for it.  Anyhoo, life goes on.  I at least have Monday off, so will make the best of it.  Until the next time friends, enjoy!

My Corner…

Today is Thanksgiving 2016, this is the first holiday spent at the hospital.  I feel so lost, sitting here in the waiting room, because sitting there in moms room is a lot to take.  Trying to keep strong and not cry, but who am I fooling; certainly not these tears.  Not myself or even mom.  Here I am though,trying one min at a time.  Looking out over the top of the buildings, nothing but pale blue skies.  A beautiful Saturday, that should be spent enjoying great things with mom, instead here at this place,yeah what memories this will make.

I am not the only one, there are millions of families going through the same things or worse, but when it happens to your family it feels like your the only one.  I know that This family has the love of God, of family and friends, and even people who have just met you.  I write to alleviate the pain of this, it is my outlet, at least with this I can cry and not have to explain why.  It is difficult to talk and keep from tearing up.  Even though I know I have friends that will be there just to listen, no explinations of any kind needed.  I find a kind of solice in writing,something I need to do more of, get back to.  I am scared, I need to get back into the Word, that is what is going to keep me balanced in this time.   

This has been a year of ups and downs, I pray the 2017 year holds nothing but blessings and greatness.  Just writing this, has calmed my soul.  looking out over these buildings, peaceful and calm.  seeing the colors of the trees changing as with this weather.  Hold the the ones you love close and tell them you love them.  We never know how things will change.  Be thankful for all you have and whom you have.  So, now the tears have dried up;and I can see clearly.  Time to get my strength and conquer this fear, to move forward and keep on keeping on, because mom needs to know and feel that we as a family has her, and is onboard with her well being.  That means I need to step up.  To grow beyond what I am, I know I can. 

This has been My Corner…  Until the next time.  Happy Thanksgiving . 

Early Morning Silence…

What I love about the early mornings in my life; are that it is filled with peace and semi-silence.  Here I am sitting out at the park next to Central Market, waiting for the time when have to be on the grind.  it is relatively quiet.  There is bustling from time to time, with joggers on the trails, and the engine hum from the truck waiting to unload; otherwise  it is a nice morning.  I so love the early morning hours.

The weather is nice at the moment, but the gray of the clouds are moving in.  weather is about to turn cold.  

Glitches in my mom’s move to the rehab, her platelets were too low, so they gave her another round of blood, and is keeping her at the hospital.  She will be there all this week, and weekend.  They will see what’s what after.  I terribly hate what is going on with her, to see her in such pain.  Family, friends, and prayers is what keeps me sane.  To God goes the glory.  

Yesterday I had my first Chai Latte in a year.  From Central market of course.  I am about to walk over and get me one before work.  I have definitely missed them.  

So I shall enjoy my quiet time this morning, and I hope your day is filled with some quietness as well.  Until the next time, enjoy.

On the move…

My mom that is, today is probably her last day staying at the hospital at St. David’s Round Rock, she will be moving into a Rehab facility for a week or so.  Senior Care home, where they will continue to work with getting her up on her feet, so that she may come home.  I am totally exhausted, and I know she is as well.  It is no fun, when the one you love is ill.  I try to hold back the tears in the presence of others, and even mom, but when I go home, I cry silently.  It is so very hard.  She is making some progress, I pray to God every day and night, and along the day.  I know prayer changes things.

I took the day off work today, so that I could get some things done around their apartment, you know, laundry, and cooking and cleaning it up.  Especially for my dad, so that when he comes in, he won’t have to worry about any thing, and we can go strait to the hospital to see mom.  Usually I get to see her when I get out of work on the days I leave around 5:30, otherwise, I get out around 8 and that’s just way to late to be heading there.  I don’t complain, it’s all good.  I have employment, and I am a bit closer to home, so at the moment it works out.

I really, hope that they can get her some home health care that is within her coverage, praying everyday, because she is definitely going to need it to get better once she is totally released and sent home.

That is it for now, until the next update.  Hope your day is going well.

Starting over again

So I have been exercising the past five days.  I have been in a downward spiral for a very long time emotionally and physically, so I have begun the process of climbing out of my pit.  I have not liked what I have been seeing in myself, and I know if I continue the way I am going, nothing good will come of it.

So I begin again, may this beginning bring prosperous change inside and out.

The One that got away…

So as the story goes,  sitting on the pond at lake Marble falls, not doing any fishing, just photographing things.  My mom hooked a big un’.  Well I have no photo to show, only because, it snapped her line, and got away.  Aww, but it was a huge one indeed.  She was using a piece of slim Jim as her bait.  I do think it was a bass, it was really big, and it really set the tone for her day, because she did not catch another big fish for the rest of the afternoon.  But that did not stop my dad from catching a nice haul, he caught a medium fish, then some smaller ones.  It was a perfect day for him, but in all it was a pretty good day out on the pond for all.  Here are some of the photos I took.

 

Here’s to having fun, good family, and fine fishing.  See you on the lake side of life.