This has been a year that I would like a do over with, but I can not. There have been hard times, good times, happy times, and times well, times that I cry, spending a wonderful year with my mom, before she died. Today does not seem like the last day of this year, and it definitely does not feel like a Saturday, but it is. Here I sit at my mom’s computer, which is now my computer, typing this out. I miss her so dearly, the tears come day after day. But life goes on, bills keep on keeping, and I have to move forward.
I just want this year to be done, and I want the new year to start, what plans do I have for the new year, well first off, I am going back to church. God has shown me that He is still on the throne. He has shown up and shown out for me, prayers do change things, even through all the hurt and pain that my family are going through, God is still in control, and he has us. The bills keep on piling up, but we are still able to pay them, still able to have enough, God is more than enough.
As I was going through mom’s note tablet, which is about to go to my sister, I found this… It is called “A Letter from Heaven”
When tomorrow stats without me,
and I’m not hear to see,
If the sun should rise and find your
eyes, filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry,
the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
we didn’t get to say.
I know how much you love me,
as much as I love you.
And each time you think of me,
I know you’ll miss me too.
When tomorrow starts without me,
don’t think we’re far apart.
for every time you think of me
I’m right there in your heart.
I don’t know who wrote this, but it was so beautiful, I cried while I was reading it. This sums up how I am feeling, for my mom. I know that we will meet again one day, but for now, I have to live my life here on this earth, and to the best of my ability.
May you rest in peace my sweet mom, we love you, and we will see you again. Your memory lives on in us, your family, in your daughters and sons, your grandkids, your friends. 2016 was a year that I want to forget, but it is also a year that brought us closer to one another, and I will always be grateful for that. 2017 is going to be an awesome year. I love you.