Category: family

Fifty-Two Weeks of My Healing…

Week:11

 

moms kid picture bw

 

This was my mom as a kid, I can see the resemblance in all three of us, my sister and brother.  She was an only child by her mother.  Strong willed, and so very independent.  And so very missed.  My mom was a giver, she was nice and caring; but she was also a Scorpio, and if you got on her bad side, you better watch out!  There are a lot of personality traits I got from her, some not so good, but most very good.  I am so blessed to have had her for 43 of my years.  Mom I love you.

Life goes on…

And so do I…  Day by day, as I wake from each one.  Daylight gives way to nighttime, and it continues on.  Today back to work, for both me and dad.  He took off, to deal with social security, and also a doctor’s appointment.  He is going to have to keep an eye on his high blood pressure, it was a bit high, and they found he is a little anemic. Bills are getting paid, slowly, and a bit late, but still being paid.

Yesterday, I donated money to a go fund me, for a friend on facebook, who is trying to pay for fees to get to see his little boy.  I felt really strong about donating to his fund, I myself had set up a go fund me, to help pay for bills for when mom died, and what I got was very helpful, and it just made me want to pay it forward to someone else that may be in need.

This is true, life does go on, and so do I.

2016… The Year that was!

This has been a year that I would like a do over with, but I can not.  There have been hard times, good times, happy times, and times well, times that I cry, spending a wonderful year with my mom, before she died.  Today does not seem like the last day of this year, and it definitely does not feel like a Saturday, but it is.  Here I sit at my mom’s computer, which is now my computer, typing this out.  I miss her so dearly, the tears come day after day.  But life goes on, bills keep on keeping, and I have to move forward.

I just want this year to be done, and I want the new year to start, what plans do I have for the new year, well first off, I am going back to church.  God has shown me that He is still on the throne.  He has shown up and shown out for me, prayers do change things, even through all the hurt and pain that my family are going through, God is still in control, and he has us.  The bills keep on piling up, but we are still able to pay them, still able to have enough, God is more than enough.

As I was going through mom’s note tablet, which is about to go to my sister, I found this…  It is called “A Letter from Heaven”

When tomorrow stats without me,

and I’m not hear to see,

If the sun should rise and find your

eyes, filled with tears for me.

I wish so much you wouldn’t cry,

the way you did today,

While thinking of the many things,

we didn’t get to say.

I know how much you love me,

as much as I love you.

And each time you think of me,

I know you’ll miss me too.

When tomorrow starts without me,

don’t think we’re far apart.

for every time you think of me

I’m right there in your heart.

I don’t know who wrote this, but it was so beautiful, I cried while I was reading it.  This sums up how I am feeling, for my mom.  I know that we will meet again one day, but for now, I have to live my life here on this earth, and to the best of my ability.

blondie

May you rest in peace my sweet mom, we love you, and we will see you again.  Your memory lives on in us, your family, in your daughters and sons, your grandkids, your friends.  2016 was a year that I want to forget, but it is also a year that brought us closer to one another, and I will always be grateful for that.  2017 is going to be an awesome year.  I love you.

 

My Corner…

What I see…

Looking out the waiting room window, today is a cold,wet,gray kind of day.  It is Sunday, and me and dad are at the hospital visiting mom.  She is in a state, upset about things, no details, but very upset.  I hate seeing her this way, I pray this does not last the whole day.  I really do not like hospitals, but here I am, rveryday with pop in tow, coming to see my mom.  I love this woman, and want her to get better, and stronger. Emotionally I do not know where I an at, I suppose all over the place, just trying to hold it together.  I will get there, I will get there.