That day was a good day, sure it did not start out great. Mom thought I had gotten us lost on the way to the museum. But once we got there and sat on the benches before we went in, things had been cleared. It’s not how you start; it’s how you finish. That day finished on a wonderful note. Miss you mom.
It’s been a while since I’ve written anything on the regular. I am very slowly getting myself back. I know it will take a while. Always a work -in-progress. So this morning, the bus did not come, there I and another woman staning there. She calls cap metro customer service, they say it is a mechanical issue, but do not offer when ir if they will send a back-up bus. See this lousy route as it may be only has one bus making the rounds wvery our on the weekends, and two busses back and forth on the weekdays. And it goes in a short loop, not like it was goong all the way to China and back, but just to one park and ride, then to the Howard Station. Anyhoo, this lady calls a ride share and tells me I can ride with her to the park and ride. Now that is mighty generous. That is my shining star of the morning.
So getting back to myself;I’ve been cleaning my apartment, and making some changes. So that it will accommodate my new kiddo. Princess.
Who is now my responsibility since my mom passed away. I am getting her a new cat tree, and hopes she takes the move and new accommodations well. To be continued on that!
I also acquired new artwork
This painting comes from a co-worker who is very artistic. I hope she sells more of her work. It will hang over my fireplace once I get thing situated.
Winter is subsiding, soon Spring will be upon us. Today is turing out like a spring day, so lovely in the sun. I am enjoying it while it is here.
Here’s to getting back… All aboard!
Church was stellar today, life class equally refreshing. Just listing to praise and worship songs on pandora, makes me cry, these songs are the songs we both loved,and sang in church, and with one anither, they fill my heart. I know she woul be happy right now knowing I am in church, that we all are in church. Getting closer to God, His Word. Today I am starting Proverbs in the Bible, I will read a passage each day. God has done so much for my soul and spirit, in these times. It is I who must draw closer to him.
I totally admire my friend Olivia, who went to Honduras, mission work. God is totally blessing this woman, she is truly the church in this world. I have been thinking of volunteering in the church bookstore. To be continued…
I know there are some major areas in my life that need cleaning up, I pray to God everyday to guide my steps, to give me discernment, and give me wisdom to see the truth of things, to send the ones that are supposed to be in my life, and the ones that are not to remove the ones that do not belong.
Did God remove mom from my life, because of a journey I need to be on, without her, I do wonder, but there are roads we have to walk. We will never be alone, because He is with us. Gods reasons are not our reasons. A time,and season for all. It has been 4 Sundays since she passed. I cried today. It will get better, this I know in my soul.
I love you mom.
And so do I… Day by day, as I wake from each one. Daylight gives way to nighttime, and it continues on. Today back to work, for both me and dad. He took off, to deal with social security, and also a doctor’s appointment. He is going to have to keep an eye on his high blood pressure, it was a bit high, and they found he is a little anemic. Bills are getting paid, slowly, and a bit late, but still being paid.
Yesterday, I donated money to a go fund me, for a friend on facebook, who is trying to pay for fees to get to see his little boy. I felt really strong about donating to his fund, I myself had set up a go fund me, to help pay for bills for when mom died, and what I got was very helpful, and it just made me want to pay it forward to someone else that may be in need.
This is true, life does go on, and so do I.
What I see…
Looking out the waiting room window, today is a cold,wet,gray kind of day. It is Sunday, and me and dad are at the hospital visiting mom. She is in a state, upset about things, no details, but very upset. I hate seeing her this way, I pray this does not last the whole day. I really do not like hospitals, but here I am, rveryday with pop in tow, coming to see my mom. I love this woman, and want her to get better, and stronger. Emotionally I do not know where I an at, I suppose all over the place, just trying to hold it together. I will get there, I will get there.
Another evening here at the hospital. Today was my day off from work, so spent it taking care of business,before heading up to the hospital. As I quietly sit and type this out; what comes to mind is how are we, meaning I coping with all this. I figured some day I would have to assist my parents, or care for them. I guess I never thought it would be this soon. But it is something that I have to go through and learn, because at this point, my family and I will be caring for her, in this capacity. At times, I mean mostly I feel very overwhelmed. Like I can’t… I know I can, and will.
Life has so many facets. I don’t know anyone who is prepared for this, there are so many things that need to be done as well. Things we do not want to discuss, but have to follow up on them. Very important. Life is so very precious, love hard and forgive quickly.
Just another night here at the hospital.
Another worth while day with mom. I get to spend more time on Sundays,because I have that day off. Anyway, life is chugging along, they have spaced out her medication, the pain is not like it was in the begining. Still not walking or able to stand; but in time and with much physical therapy this will be possible.
All this is what is called adversity, we all eventually go through something of it. How we deal and handle it is the other thing. I was watching Dr. Stanleys program on adversity, what he said is so very true… God does not give you more than you can handle. He knows what you can and can not, and at which times as well. I know that if these things had come up at another time in my life, it may have been too much, but God knew, I know I am so much stronger for it. To God I give all the Glory and Praise!
Well, getting my time in with mom. that is all that is going on in My Corner. Enjoy your day.
Today is Thanksgiving 2016, this is the first holiday spent at the hospital. I feel so lost, sitting here in the waiting room, because sitting there in moms room is a lot to take. Trying to keep strong and not cry, but who am I fooling; certainly not these tears. Not myself or even mom. Here I am though,trying one min at a time. Looking out over the top of the buildings, nothing but pale blue skies. A beautiful Saturday, that should be spent enjoying great things with mom, instead here at this place,yeah what memories this will make.
I am not the only one, there are millions of families going through the same things or worse, but when it happens to your family it feels like your the only one. I know that This family has the love of God, of family and friends, and even people who have just met you. I write to alleviate the pain of this, it is my outlet, at least with this I can cry and not have to explain why. It is difficult to talk and keep from tearing up. Even though I know I have friends that will be there just to listen, no explinations of any kind needed. I find a kind of solice in writing,something I need to do more of, get back to. I am scared, I need to get back into the Word, that is what is going to keep me balanced in this time.
This has been a year of ups and downs, I pray the 2017 year holds nothing but blessings and greatness. Just writing this, has calmed my soul. looking out over these buildings, peaceful and calm. seeing the colors of the trees changing as with this weather. Hold the the ones you love close and tell them you love them. We never know how things will change. Be thankful for all you have and whom you have. So, now the tears have dried up;and I can see clearly. Time to get my strength and conquer this fear, to move forward and keep on keeping on, because mom needs to know and feel that we as a family has her, and is onboard with her well being. That means I need to step up. To grow beyond what I am, I know I can.
This has been My Corner… Until the next time. Happy Thanksgiving .
Is precious, when major things happen, it makes you take stock. Stock in the little things, in the big things, and in the between things. What’s really important. My mom has been ill for over a month. First with Gout,then something else that took over her body. Come to find out she has leukemia. So she has been in the Hospital since Sunday, and she will be transfered to the hospital in south Austin today., they will get her set up and take it from there. Am I scared;yes I am. We have to stay strong as a family unit, keep strong for her. So much is going through my mind, but no time to process it all. I work everyday, and my mind races. My dad took time off to be with his wife,to which I commend,he needs that, she needs that. I know God has his hands of protection around us. Major changes for this family unit,with God all things are possible.
So I have been exercising the past five days. I have been in a downward spiral for a very long time emotionally and physically, so I have begun the process of climbing out of my pit. I have not liked what I have been seeing in myself, and I know if I continue the way I am going, nothing good will come of it.
So I begin again, may this beginning bring prosperous change inside and out.