Category: peace

Fifty-Two Weeks of My Healing…

Week 52:


So today is the last of my year long 52 weeks blog.  I end it with this loving memory of my mom.  She was a strong woman, she loved God, she loved her husband, and she loved her family.

She was loved, and will be missed dearly.  I learned so many things from mom, and so hrateful I had this time to spend with her. So proud to be her daughter.  I love you mom, always and forever.

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Fifty-Two Weeks of My Healing…

Week 51:

No matter what, there was love.  No matter the situation, there was love. It was truly till death do they part.  It has been a year now yesterday.  It still hurts like the beginning.  I cried so much, but life, life moves forward; whether you cry or not.

This has been quite the year…  the struggle is real, but my God is more real, and I know that He watches over me, and my family.

One more week left in this journey, it has been a long task, but one I can see my healing beginning.  It will take a bit, I just needed a start.  I love you mom.

Fifty-Two Weeks of My Healing…

Week 5:

 

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A day at the Capitol, This was the first trip that I took with her and my stepdad when they came to visit me In September of 2013.  She loved going down to the Capitol, her and I were alike, when it came to exploring new places.  I remember several times going to the Capitol with her, we finally even ate at the Capitol Grille a couple of times.  These are the very good memories that I will keep.

My Corner…

Today is Thanksgiving 2016, this is the first holiday spent at the hospital.  I feel so lost, sitting here in the waiting room, because sitting there in moms room is a lot to take.  Trying to keep strong and not cry, but who am I fooling; certainly not these tears.  Not myself or even mom.  Here I am though,trying one min at a time.  Looking out over the top of the buildings, nothing but pale blue skies.  A beautiful Saturday, that should be spent enjoying great things with mom, instead here at this place,yeah what memories this will make.

I am not the only one, there are millions of families going through the same things or worse, but when it happens to your family it feels like your the only one.  I know that This family has the love of God, of family and friends, and even people who have just met you.  I write to alleviate the pain of this, it is my outlet, at least with this I can cry and not have to explain why.  It is difficult to talk and keep from tearing up.  Even though I know I have friends that will be there just to listen, no explinations of any kind needed.  I find a kind of solice in writing,something I need to do more of, get back to.  I am scared, I need to get back into the Word, that is what is going to keep me balanced in this time.   

This has been a year of ups and downs, I pray the 2017 year holds nothing but blessings and greatness.  Just writing this, has calmed my soul.  looking out over these buildings, peaceful and calm.  seeing the colors of the trees changing as with this weather.  Hold the the ones you love close and tell them you love them.  We never know how things will change.  Be thankful for all you have and whom you have.  So, now the tears have dried up;and I can see clearly.  Time to get my strength and conquer this fear, to move forward and keep on keeping on, because mom needs to know and feel that we as a family has her, and is onboard with her well being.  That means I need to step up.  To grow beyond what I am, I know I can. 

This has been My Corner…  Until the next time.  Happy Thanksgiving . 

Early Morning Silence…

What I love about the early mornings in my life; are that it is filled with peace and semi-silence.  Here I am sitting out at the park next to Central Market, waiting for the time when have to be on the grind.  it is relatively quiet.  There is bustling from time to time, with joggers on the trails, and the engine hum from the truck waiting to unload; otherwise  it is a nice morning.  I so love the early morning hours.

The weather is nice at the moment, but the gray of the clouds are moving in.  weather is about to turn cold.  

Glitches in my mom’s move to the rehab, her platelets were too low, so they gave her another round of blood, and is keeping her at the hospital.  She will be there all this week, and weekend.  They will see what’s what after.  I terribly hate what is going on with her, to see her in such pain.  Family, friends, and prayers is what keeps me sane.  To God goes the glory.  

Yesterday I had my first Chai Latte in a year.  From Central market of course.  I am about to walk over and get me one before work.  I have definitely missed them.  

So I shall enjoy my quiet time this morning, and I hope your day is filled with some quietness as well.  Until the next time, enjoy.

Update…

My mom has mylodysplastic Syndrome, (MDS)  The myelodysplastic syndromes are hematological medical conditions that cause ineffective production of all blood cells. Patients with MDS can develop severe anemia and require blood transfusions. In some cases, the disease worsens and the patient develops cytopenias caused by progressive bone marrow failure. The outlook in MDS depends on the type and severity. Many people live normal lifespans with MDS.

Which means her bone marrow is pretty Jacked up.  She will see doctor after doctor for this, in fact she has to go to a doctor who will see if she qualifies for a Trial research for some medication.  Instead of having to see about experimental medical treatments in Houston.  Will keep all updated and posted.  For today, it looks like she will be doing treatments here in Austin.

I have decided that I am going to stay home with her while this is going on, and find a job closer to home, instead of being all the way out south, and taking forever to get back north and with her.  Thank God that my dad is working, as well, but for now, I am going to be there while he works to keep bills paid.  I will look for something closer.  Because I still need to get my bills paid as well.  But It will be alright, God has his hands on our family.  All the prayers of family and friends. Thanks for all those who prayed and are still praying.

Today has been a wild day, but I know my mom is so very strong, and she is going to beat this thing.