No matter what, there was love. No matter the situation, there was love. It was truly till death do they part. It has been a year now yesterday. It still hurts like the beginning. I cried so much, but life, life moves forward; whether you cry or not.
This has been quite the year… the struggle is real, but my God is more real, and I know that He watches over me, and my family.
One more week left in this journey, it has been a long task, but one I can see my healing beginning. It will take a bit, I just needed a start. I love you mom.
This photo was the first time mom had gone to The Blanton Museum. It was a fun day after we got there, before it was a little nerve wracking, only because we took the bus, and we walked down to the museum, and I was figuring out which way to turn, but once I righted myself, we were on our way, and she loved it. I never did get a chance to take her to other museums around Austin, but she really did love this one. This is the stacked waters wall she is standing in front of. It was a very fun day indeed.
Church was stellar today, life class equally refreshing. Just listing to praise and worship songs on pandora, makes me cry, these songs are the songs we both loved,and sang in church, and with one anither, they fill my heart. I know she woul be happy right now knowing I am in church, that we all are in church. Getting closer to God, His Word. Today I am starting Proverbs in the Bible, I will read a passage each day. God has done so much for my soul and spirit, in these times. It is I who must draw closer to him.
I totally admire my friend Olivia, who went to Honduras, mission work. God is totally blessing this woman, she is truly the church in this world. I have been thinking of volunteering in the church bookstore. To be continued…
I know there are some major areas in my life that need cleaning up, I pray to God everyday to guide my steps, to give me discernment, and give me wisdom to see the truth of things, to send the ones that are supposed to be in my life, and the ones that are not to remove the ones that do not belong.
Did God remove mom from my life, because of a journey I need to be on, without her, I do wonder, but there are roads we have to walk. We will never be alone, because He is with us. Gods reasons are not our reasons. A time,and season for all. It has been 4 Sundays since she passed. I cried today. It will get better, this I know in my soul.
I love you mom.
Another evening here at the hospital. Today was my day off from work, so spent it taking care of business,before heading up to the hospital. As I quietly sit and type this out; what comes to mind is how are we, meaning I coping with all this. I figured some day I would have to assist my parents, or care for them. I guess I never thought it would be this soon. But it is something that I have to go through and learn, because at this point, my family and I will be caring for her, in this capacity. At times, I mean mostly I feel very overwhelmed. Like I can’t… I know I can, and will.
Life has so many facets. I don’t know anyone who is prepared for this, there are so many things that need to be done as well. Things we do not want to discuss, but have to follow up on them. Very important. Life is so very precious, love hard and forgive quickly.
Just another night here at the hospital.
Today is Thanksgiving 2016, this is the first holiday spent at the hospital. I feel so lost, sitting here in the waiting room, because sitting there in moms room is a lot to take. Trying to keep strong and not cry, but who am I fooling; certainly not these tears. Not myself or even mom. Here I am though,trying one min at a time. Looking out over the top of the buildings, nothing but pale blue skies. A beautiful Saturday, that should be spent enjoying great things with mom, instead here at this place,yeah what memories this will make.
I am not the only one, there are millions of families going through the same things or worse, but when it happens to your family it feels like your the only one. I know that This family has the love of God, of family and friends, and even people who have just met you. I write to alleviate the pain of this, it is my outlet, at least with this I can cry and not have to explain why. It is difficult to talk and keep from tearing up. Even though I know I have friends that will be there just to listen, no explinations of any kind needed. I find a kind of solice in writing,something I need to do more of, get back to. I am scared, I need to get back into the Word, that is what is going to keep me balanced in this time.
This has been a year of ups and downs, I pray the 2017 year holds nothing but blessings and greatness. Just writing this, has calmed my soul. looking out over these buildings, peaceful and calm. seeing the colors of the trees changing as with this weather. Hold the the ones you love close and tell them you love them. We never know how things will change. Be thankful for all you have and whom you have. So, now the tears have dried up;and I can see clearly. Time to get my strength and conquer this fear, to move forward and keep on keeping on, because mom needs to know and feel that we as a family has her, and is onboard with her well being. That means I need to step up. To grow beyond what I am, I know I can.
This has been My Corner… Until the next time. Happy Thanksgiving .
Happy Veterans Day. I sure do appreciate all that you have done, and all that you continue to do for this country of ours. Thank You!
Week 48: ( picture this )
Oh. What a meal this was. Still working on those leftovers. Thankful for all The Lord has supplied, in family , and friends.