Tag: blog

Fifty-Two Weeks of My Healing…

Week 22:

In her element!  Mom taught us a love for fishing, well a strong like anyway.  Fishing was fun, just go out and sit snd throw your line out there.  We have had many fun time doing just that, as well as shooting the shit.  Long talks, special times, fun times.  Made at a fishing hole.  This was Lake Marble Falls, in marble falls texas.  Sweet, sweet memories.  I love you mom.

28 years…

That I have called the man who was my moms husband a dad to me.  Until today.  Today, the man who I had much respect for all but became dead to me. As quickly as mom died, things started to turn with him and us as a family.  

2 months after her death, this man started seeing another women, first she was just a friend, a week later he was spending the night at her apartment.  Not even three months, he said they were thinking about moving in together.  But he assured me, my sister, and nephew that we were still his family, and that he would be there for us, that if we needed antyhing, just ask, that is what family is about.

Which was a straight out lie,  he was changing, soon he would spend weeks at her apartment, she never came up to the apartment to meet us.  We finally met her one time, her and her daughter came over, said hi and tbat was it.  Never engaged us in a conversation or anything.  Hell we do not even know her last name.  

Today when I called him,  he all but said, he did not want us calling him on the phone because it is upsetting her, since he is in a new relationship.  Not even five months and this woman is screaming they are going to be married, and that she will be answering his phone when we call and listening to the conversation.  She told me, that everytime I call, I am upsetting him, and I am always calling , wanting money or for him to pay a bill.  That he has taken care of me long enough.  That he was already in a hole, that she was helping him, not us.  I asked him, is that how he felt, he said, yes, that he is in a new relationship now.  Even though he said we could count on him, now it is clear we can not.  He made that clear today.  

Funny though, those bills that i want him to pay, are his own bills.  None of mine, and that hole he is in, is of his own doing.  His and hers in fact.   Either way, I am done with this bullshit.  It makes me angry, and sad.  Nothing I can do, but move on.  This man, that I have called dad for 28 years; is all but dead to me.  I will pray to God to help me, to help me forgive this man.  To help me clense my soul of this anger and hurt.

Fifty-Two Weeks of My Healing…

Week 16:

A photo taken at the water lilly garden in San Angelo.  The last time we would visit there together.  It was fun, and quality time was spent mother and daughter style.  Her and I were a lot alike, when it came to adventure, museums, botanical gardens.  We just vibed that way.  I truly miss things like that.  I love how she is looking into the distance.  Pondering some far away thoughts… or maybe thinking, it’s time to head back to Austin.  Much love mom.

Moved back in…

To my apartment, me and the little girl.  She sniffed, slinked, and scurried around the place.  Meowing loudly, finally getting familiar with things.  She loves the new cat tree, got a real bargin at pet smart.  What I thought was 99 bucks, was on sale for 69 dollars.  Oh believe me, I spent money last night, between the cat and some food for myself, I almost wept, but it was necessary.

I now really look forward to coming home after a long days or nights work to see my kittie girl.  Now that she is mine and my responsibility.  Anyways, there are great responsibilities as a adult I have to do Monday, one of which, need to update my resume.  I am trying to stick with this job, for at least a year, not sure that will happen, as so much nonsense is going on there.  So that is that.

Last weekend, went to the free day at Zilker, went to the botanical garden.  Invited nephwe and sister who have never been, it was great fun.  Photos below.







Welp, until the next adventure, keep it fun.